Andromeda DavisYou probably never knew that you’re going to commit a crime one day, did you? At least, if you’re one of the zodiac signs below, you’re more likely to commit a crime than others—especially the specific crimes mentioned below.
So, are you guilty? Let’s find out!
Cancer June 21-July 22
Oh, you naughty crab. Although you’re pretty chill in general, you’re known to let your temper flare when you become provoked or scared.
When Cancer gets in trouble, it usually involves trespassing, using a fake ID, or contempt of court. O.J. Simpson was a Cancer. Just saying.
Gemini May 21-June 20
You’re in a load of trouble if you’re a Gemini. You’re known for your wit, charm, and cleverness-and you know who else is?
Jeffrey Dahmer!
You’re probably going to commit murder someday… maybe, but here’s hoping you can console yourself with a lesser crime, such as cheating at a casino or misconduct of a public official. Yeah, that might be a better choice.
Taurus April 20-May 20
Taurus, must you be so bullish at everything? I’m sorry, Taurus—but you’ve done some really awful things, and you’re likely to do even more. I mean, really bad things. Are you ready to hear what crime you’re most likely to commit?
Bear with me. This is real bad. Ok. Here it comes… you’re probably going to get pulled over for texting while driving. You really shouldn’t have done that.
Virgo August 23-September 22
Virgo, did you know that you possess one of the most common signs? You’re so special. Because your sign is so common, that also means that the crime you’re most likely to commit is also one of the most common.
Smoking the weed.
Yep. You’re going to be busted for drug possession and you also rank highly on the list for landing a DUI. Whatever plans you had for this weekend, you might want to cancel them. Or stay indoors—it’s safer there, at least.
Libra September 23-October 22
So we’ve come to this, Libra. Sigh. What did you do now? I know you’re all about peace and equilibrium and doing good and whatnot, but this? This is too much. I knew we shouldn’t have let you loose in Vegas.
You’re also more likely to possess more than a dozen marijuana plants, Libra—you’ve even got Virgo beat. Know who else is a Libra, Libra? Vladimir Putin. Yep, that Vladimir. And also Will Smith.
I’m just going to continue shaking my head and let things end here, where they should.
Katy Holloway
