Andromeda DavisShh! You can’t hide anything from a good astrologer. Here’s the dirty little secret of every Zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Underneath that tough, competitive shell, Aries is secretly insecure. You want to be the best at everything–but you’d never admit how much time you spend worrying about your performance in every aspect of your life. Sometimes, you even get paranoid as you wonder whether everyone is judging you, or even laughing at you behind your back.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
People typically think of Taurus as being a stubborn, crunchy nature lover, but there’s more to the bull than meets the eye. This sign is surprisingly sensual… by which I mean they totally have some weird kinks in the bedroom. Fruit, toys, costumes–Taurus knows how to have a good time, and if you’re lucky, they’ll let you in on the fun.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
While other, more obviously passionate signs get a bad rap for being players, Gemini is going around breaking hearts wherever they go. Gemini is second only to Aquarius in terms of being into open or non-traditional relationships.
This easily bored Air sign might have multiple ‘honeys on the hook’ just to keep themselves occupied!
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Beware the crab! They aren’t nearly as soft as they seem. Although Cancerians have a rep for being a bunch of overly emotional marshmallows, they’re actually pretty savage if you cross them. Cancer will totally slash his tires, key his car, or send his dirty DMs to his wife.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Leo’s dirty little secret is that they’re pretty much always on the verge of bankruptcy. This sign is terrible at managing money–and not just because they’re dressed in head-to-toe LV. Leo is generous to a fault and will spend their last dollar on making sure that their friends are having the best night out ever.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Virgo comes off as a total control freak, but the truth is that they’re much harder on themselves than anyone else. While this Zodiac sign is often seen as cold and exacting, they hold themselves to impossibly high standards. Sadly, that often leads to a lot of negative feelings about their own worth.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
I hate to have to blow up your spot, Libra, but you’re faking it. Specifically, you’re faking your fabulous lifestyle for social media. The truth is that most of your wardrobe is knockoff and your fabulous, jet-setting lifestyle involves a lot of Photoshop and wishful thinking.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Scorpio doesn’t make a secret of their dark side. They’ll happily show you where the bodies are buried… but you better not find out that they’re a secret rom-com addict. Scorpio has a slightly skewed sense of romance, but they can quote every line of Love, Actually.
If this prickly Zodiac sign ever lets down their guard enough around you to admit it, you should feel honored.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Looking back on your life, dear Sagittarius, you can’t help but feel amazed that you survived it. You’ve done some seriously dumb, reckless stuff in your day. In fact, your dirty little secret is that you have incredibly poor judgment.
Yeah, you’ve had more adventures than most people–but you’ve also had some close calls that you’re embarrassed to admit to your friends and family.
Capricorn (December 23-January 20)
If you thought Cancerians were scary, then watch out for this sign of the Zodiac! Hell hath no fury like a Capricorn scorned. They will go to truly terrifying lengths to settle a score. Capricorn is a methodical, determined, hardworking sign–and that’s doubly true when they’re plotting revenge.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
I’m just going to say it: Aquarius is a serial cheater. Except that it’s not really cheating, because you refuse to be defined by relationships of any kind. It’s not your fault that the other person didn’t understand the score, right?
While you’re out there wrecking homes and breaking hearts, try to remember that not everyone has embraced the concept of free love.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Pisces, you have straight-up stalked someone. Maybe more than once! This sign is kind of a mess–but an adorable mess. You’ve fallen hard for people you barely know–a cute barista, the person living down the hall in your apartment building, even a celebrity.
And sometimes your romantic fantasies get carried away. Just remember to stop before there are restraining orders involved, okay?
Shea Lee
