Andromeda DavisIf you were famous–and hey, maybe it’ll happen someday–here’s how you’d end up on the front page of the tabloids according to your Zodiac sign.
From cheating scandals to epic catfights, every Sun sign is drawn to a different kind of drama.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Given your competitive nature and hot-headed temper, Aries is most likely to get arrested for a fight. To be honest, it’ll probably happen when you get in a disagreement with a fan of the opposing team at a sports bar.
You always have a tough time keeping your cool, but when someone talks smack about your team, you see red.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
As the most grounded sign of the Zodiac, Taurus is most likely to cause a scandal by disappearing from the public eye. You’d turn your back on fortune and fame to live the simple life on a ranch in Wyoming like Kim and Kanye are threatening to do.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Gemini is the Zodiac sign most likely to start a series of Twitter wars with random celebrities. You’re quick-witted and addicted to social media anyway–but if you had millions of followers, you’d be starting beef with everyone from Taylor Swift to the cast of 90210.
You can’t help speaking your mind!
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Like Nicki Minaj, you’d announce your retirement at the height of your career to focus on your family. The rapper recently revealed that she was planning to quit the game after getting married in order to have kids.
When it comes down to choosing between family or fame, Cancer will always choose family.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
We already know that Leo struggles sometimes with money management. If you were famous, you’d end up blowing through millions of dollars on lavish table service for your friends, designer swag, a private party jet, and anything else your heart desires.
When you go bankrupt and have to sell your menagerie of exotic pets, it’ll be all over the tabloids.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Virgo’s scandals are all the more shocking because you seem so in control all the time. Your tabloid story will probably be more along the lines of Kristen Stewart or Miley Cyrus–a seemingly calculated decision to change your image in the public eye.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
Libra will be making headlines for all the right reasons when you run off with a minor European royal. Your taste for the finer things in life means that you’ll fit right in with the aristocracy. Break out the champagne and caviar!
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Scorpio will cause a scandal when you put your wild-child days behind you and settle down to raise a family with your soulmate. Like Angelina Jolie, you’ll still have an edge–but in your heart, you’ve always longed for a family and a stable home, even if it shocks your fans.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Sagittarius is the Zodiac sign most likely to cause an international incident. You’ll get drunk and accidentally puke on the Prime Minister or get caught trying to steal a sheep in New Zealand. Luckily, your harmless pranks will only boost your reputation.
Capricorn (December 23-January 20)
Capricorn doesn’t really do scandals or drama. All that nonsense gets in the way of achieving your goals. If you ever end up in the tabloids, it’ll be because someone discovered your 20-step plan for world domination.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
As the most free-spirited sign of the Zodiac, Aquarius is barely even aware of tabloid drama. However, you’re most likely to accidentally start a cult–just like Jared Leto. His band 30 Seconds to Mars looks an awful lot like a cult these days, doesn’t it?
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Pisces isn’t crazy–you just operate on a different wavelength from most people. This sign is the most likely to give a series of Jaden Smith-style interviews about your unique world view. It’s not your fault if other people aren’t enlightened enough to get it.
Shea Lee
