Andromeda DavisIt’s almost Halloween, and with the spooky season well underway, we started thinking about how each of the Zodiac Signs would fair in a traditional horror movie. Would you make it out alive?
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Aries is totally the jock who gets killed early on in the movie. Sorry, man! If it’s any consolation, you’d put up a fight and try to protect your companions, but you aren’t making it past the first act of the film. Think Kevin Bacon in Friday the 13th or Johnny Depp in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Congrats, Taurus! You’re the plucky heroine or hero who manages to make it all the way to the end. Although you’ll always be scarred by your experiences, like Laurie Strode in Halloween, you are simply too stubborn to let the bad guy win.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Gemini is the brainy (okay, maybe ever so slightly nerdy) character who figures out who the killer is–but gets killed before they can tell anyone. Alternately, you might be the killer yourself without realizing it, like in And Then There Were None.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Dearest Cancer, you are the parental figure who will do anything to protect the kids in your care from the evil that stalks them. Unfortunately, your fierce devotion has terrible consequences–as the twist endings of The Orphanage or The Others.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Leo, you’re the popular, attractive one… which makes you a prime target to be the first victim. Sorry! You’re just like Casey (Drew Barrymore’s character) in Scream. At least everyone will remember you.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
No running in high heels or opening doors that should obviously stay closed, Virgo. You’re way too smart for that. Your role in a classic horror film would be to hit the books and discover a way to defeat the monsters once and for all.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
Being stuck in a horror movie is pretty much your worst nightmare, Libra. You’d spend the entire time telling people not to do stupid stuff and then watching them do it anyway. If they’d just listen to you, the movie would be over in fifteen minutes!
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
If anyone would thrive in a horror movie setting, it’s you, Scorpio. You’ll absolutely turn into a monster-slaying machine when the time comes. You’re Buffy, Ripley, and every other tough main character who survives through sheer determination.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
In a horror movie, you’d be the lovable best friend who keeps everyone’s spirits up–and makes truly terrible decisions that lead to your demise. You might be the one who suggests everybody splits up in the haunted house, or you could be the person who thinks asking for help at the abandoned old farmhouse is a good idea.
Capricorn (December 23-January 20)
Capricorn, only you have the determination to stay strong and the problem-solving skills to make it through this nightmare. You’re a lot like Nancy in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, using your wits to outsmart the killer.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
Aquarius, if you found yourself in a horror movie, it would probably be along the lines of The Craft or Ginger Snaps. You’re the misunderstood outsider who turns to the supernatural to get power. You might not be a villain–more of an anti-hero–but things will go bad for you in the end.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Pisces, your role in a horror movie would be the spooky psychic that no one believes. Think the kid from The Sixth Sense. You see things (possibly dead people) that no one else can. If the other characters are smart, they’ll listen to you from the beginning.
Shea Lee
